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9 signs you should reconsider friendship


Your friendships have a bigger impact than your happy hours and weekend plans. They affect your health, well-being and overall well-being. Research has proved this. In a 10-year Australian study published in the Journal of epidemiology and community health in 2005, older people with strong social networks lived longer than those without them. A study conducted by UCLA researchers in 2000 found that women's social circles help them cope better with stress. A 2008 study published in the American Journal of public health suggests that social relationships may help delay memory loss in older people. Although friendship is important, it can also be a source of stress and conflict. Sometimes they disappear slowly. If you have a relationship, read on to see if it's time to end it.

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1. Your friend is unreliable is your friend late or not at all? Did she make plans and break them at the last minute? If your answer is yes, it shows that your friendship is worth reconsidering. " "Maybe your friend just has a time management problem and is overextended," said Dr. Irene S. Levin, a friendship expert and professor of psychiatry at New York University School of medicine. If it's a consistent pattern, you need to talk about it openly, explain how it feels to you, set limits and stick with it. " For example, Levine suggests telling your friend that you wait for her in a restaurant for no more than 15 minutes before you leave. If the problem persists, you'd better find a friend who respects you and your time.

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2. Dana kerford, friendship expert and founder of girlpower, compares healthy friendship to healthy food: "healthy food gives you energy, helps you grow and strong. Healthy friendship is the same. They give us what we need, they help us become stronger, they help us grow, they promote us, "she said. But friends can also be like junk food, providing little nutrition and consuming your energy. " Unhealthy friendships will drag us down, they won't make us feel so good. If your friend is willing to listen to your needs and change her way, the relationship may be worth saving. If not, don't drive to other places for nutrition. Listen to

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your friends can't solve conflicts


"all friendships and relationships have conflicts," said Dana kerford, a friendship expert. How you deal with conflict defines your friendship. If you disagree with your friend, and he becomes defensive, yells at you, attacks your character, makes things out of proportion, doesn't listen to you, refuses to talk to you, or becomes violent, it shows that his ability to resolve conflicts is very poor. " Healthy friendship deals with conflict in a respectful way that both sides can hear. No one is perfect, but if your friends can't hear you at least, keep calm and apologize when necessary, there is no hope for a healthy and full friendship.

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4. Your friend talks too much. Your friend keeps talking about her life and her problems, and you seem to be unable to put in a word. Even if you have important topics to discuss, your friends won't stop to listen to you. This may indicate that your friend is self-centered and doesn't care about you, but it may also have deeper psychological implications. 'people who talk too much may do this because they find it difficult to deal with the emotions that come from listening to others,' f.diane Barth, a licensed social worker and therapist, wrote on psycologytoday.com. Bath suggests setting a time limit for listening to their voices and adopting a more positive attitude towards the voices being listened to. However, if your friends continue to talk to you, look for a more balanced friendship.

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5. Your friend's lifestyle is unhealthy, you have been a friend for many years, but recently you pay more attention to your health, and your friend seems to fall into unhealthy habits. He always wants to eat out of the fast food restaurant, but you like salad. You'd rather spend time in the gym, but your friend is a slob. Sometimes a little encouragement can help your friend change his unhealthy way. If not, be careful of his bad habits. A 2007 study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that obesity can be spread through social relationships. In their 32 year study, researchers found that people whose friends were obese also had a 57% chance of obesity. It's a huge price to pay for friendship.

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6. Friendship is unbalanced 9 out of 10 times you call a friend or suggest spending time together. You always buy tickets for concerts or plays. You cooked him several times, and he didn't invite you over. " "It's not about counting the number of times a person invites you out and the number of times you invite them," friendship expert Dana Crawford said. I don't just feel that there is fairness in friendship, but you all pay the same price, "without this balance, you may feel hurt and resentful, which is unhealthy. If your friends don't make more efforts after you express your concerns, it's best to save your energy and build friendships in a more reciprocal way.

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7. Your friend embarrasses you in public as if she can't control what she says. At parties, she is either rude or too loud, and you will find yourself excluded from the social circle because of her. Although she has other advantages, she hinders your ability to maintain other friendships. You told her to stop, but she didn't want to and couldn't. " "You may not be able to change the character and growth experience of your friends," said Dr. Irene S. Levin, a professor of psychiatry. Maybe you've grown up.You don't need her anymore, you just need to contact her once in a while. "You're less likely to be embarrassed by having more one-on-one time outside a large group party or gathering. If this is not possible, friendship may not stand the test of time.

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8. Your friend is too poor. Her car broke down last week. She wants to borrow it. Then she had a fight with her boyfriend and asked you to call all night. The week before, she was delayed at a meeting and needs your help walking her dog. " Everyone needs help from time to time. Friendship includes giving and taking. But if your friends are exhausting you, you may need to learn to say no, "said Dr. Irene Slaven, a professor of psychiatry. Levin also suggests reducing friendships so you're not the only one she depends on.

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9. What would you think if someone asked you about your friend's five favorite things? Can you name five? How about two? If not, it's a sure sign, maybe it's time to let the friendship go. Sometimes people, out of loyalty or fear of loss, stay much longer than they should. But like romantic relationships, emotions can change. If you don't like it anymore, ask yourself why. Make a list of things you like about your friends and things you don't like. If the "don't like" list is longer than the "like" list, tell yourself that you can make the list disappear.

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should you stay or leave? At the end of the day, it's about maintaining or letting go of friendship. At the end of the day, it's about whether friendship makes you feel good or bad. " "If it doesn't feel right, that's enough," said Dana Crawford, a friendship expert. You don't need to explain why, and you don't need to express it clearly: feeling bad is enough. Believe in that feeling. " What do you think of it? Do you have a friendship you are considering ending? Have you recently ended a friendship? What made you decide to break up? Do these reasons remind you of your present or former friends? Have you rekindled friendship? Tell us the details! Share your thoughts and opinions in the following sections.

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