247Sporty » Health » There are 11 signs that you're never ahead of your predecessors.

There are 11 signs that you're never ahead of your predecessors.


When a relationship ends, there is usually a period of sadness. The length and intensity of the period varies, depending on your investment in your partner and your future relationship (especially if you're dating for months or getting married for years). Their decision to break up also played a big role. Although the post breakup phase is really bad, the post breakup phase will eventually end, bringing new perspectives and romantic prospects. But sometimes, after a few months or even years of the past relationship, we fall into a post death dilemma after this person leaves our lives. Here's how to know if you're having trouble moving on and how to fix it.

Credit: Adobe stock / Peter bernik

1. You really care about those things. It's one thing to get your favorite book from your ex's house right after you break up. But David glass, a certified family law expert in Los Angeles, said that if you still insist on wearing any clothes or other personal items, such as the oversized shirt you wear when you sleep or her favorite candle, then your continued focus on those leftovers means that you haven't really started to act yet. "You may even continue to mention what you forgot to get from your predecessor," he said. West. " It can include everything from the garden hose that you now swear means a lot to the painting you want to buy together, even if you say your ex can keep it because it doesn't mean anything to you. "

Credit: Adobe stock / 88studio

2. People in all types of relationships create rituals specific to their common bond: you and your mother may have lunch in a pub, you and your friends may watch TV together. The same applies to romantic relationships - from pet names to favorite movies to coffee shops. "[the] urge to go where you and your ex often visit, the need to repeat activities with others, or the need to create food that your ex loves, means falling into grief," says therapist reif. Shirley Heller. To move on, create new rituals, stop visiting places that were once sacred. Now listen to James Anderson, the editor in chief and dating expert of beyondages.com. One of the strongest signals is that you pay close attention to your ex boyfriend through social media. They continue to track this person digitally. " "It's understandable to occasionally look at ex boyfriend's feed; we all do it," he said. But looking at it regularly, actually "like" or commenting, means you're actually poking your ex and saying "remember me." "Either leave social media completely, or let go or block your predecessors so they don't pop up in your feed.

Credit: g-stock studio / iStock / gettyimages

IV. Psychologist Dr Carmen Hara said: "if you can't find anything from your ex's family, even if you're not big on social media, you can try to keep in touch with your ex's family and friends to keep in touch." "There is no reason to continue to communicate with them after the relationship has been cancelled," she said. If you keep in touch with them and want them to tell you what your ex is doing, or what you are doing, then you obviously haven't recovered from the relationship. You'll soon meet someone new. If you can't seem to have had your first coffee with a potential new boyfriend, it may be a sign that you haven't ended your last marriage. " "If someone has been dating a lot of different people for a long time, it may be difficult for them to give up their dream of the previous partner," said James Anderson, a dating expert. "Instead of forcing yourself to date because you think you should, it's worth it to wait until you're ready to give someone a real chance." The credit: astrot / iStock / gettyimages

6. When you are in a breakup, you may turn to external forces to help you cope. Whether it's alcohol, food or drugs, "you probably don't realize you're drinking," said Clarissa Silva, a behavioral scientist and relationship coach. You can also be dramatic, aggressive with friends and family, or annoying, and need to be at the center of attention all the time.

this is an example of a time when you want help, even if you would rather be defensive if someone in your life is offering it. Take your pet on a hike instead of a club, or take your dog for a walk in a smoothie bar instead of having a whole bag of cookies for breakfast. Think before you speak from time to time. You will thank yourself later.

Credit: View / iStock / gettyimages separately

7. You will still vent your dissatisfaction with your ex. if you are exchanging romantic war stories with a group of friends, it is natural to say bad things about your ex. But in recalculating relationships coach Clarissa Silva said: "if you keep texting or contaminating your friends with your ears, you probably know something's wrong and you're looking for confirmation." You are avoiding and creating their people to deal with problems. "You may already know that this relationship is unhealthy, or to some extent it has failed you, so it's up to you to go beyond this relationship and find a brighter future." 8. "When you post a story about going out for the night on instagram or a picture of a romantic dinner on Facebook, the only purpose is to make your ex jealous, you know you haven't recovered from your previous relationship," said Dr. Carmen Hara. When you're really over treating someone, you don't have to care about what's affecting their emotions. " As a matter of fact, she said, the real excess to a person means that if your ex boyfriend doesn't have any feelings for you, you'll like it better. By trying to provoke a response, you really show how much you want your ex to contact you, or how much you want them to take you back.

Credit: monkeybusinessimages / iStock / gettyimages

9. You're in a state of regretThe end of a relationship will make you feel that if you did something or said something different, you could have stopped the breakup. This is especially true if you don't want to break up in the first place. " When our desires cannot be realized in real life, they will permeate our recurring thoughts, "Hara said. So why do we always think about the same thing so much that we are fascinated by something or someone. " "

she recommends recording your thoughts every day to help you realize how much or how much is on your ex's mind." "Every time you think about them, write them down," she said. This includes remembering "good times," wanting to know how they are, what they are doing, and even crazy thoughts of anger or pain. "This will allow you to track your progress and give you space to calculate those" assumptions. "


Credit: tommaso79 / iStock / gettyimages

10. You haven't learned from every relationship. Every relationship teaches you something important about yourself and what it means to be a partner. " "But if you want to romance or end your relationship, rather than learn from it together, then you're not determined to accept the reality of the relationship," said breakup coach Chelsea Lee trescott, who advises, "don't ask yourself why your ex boyfriend let you go, and when you're with that person, what parts of yourself are curious about. Focus on improving your self-knowledge, and you will move towards building a healthy relationship with yourself, which will allow you to find the right person for you in the future. The credit: Tamara dragovich / iStock / gettyimages

11. After the break-up, you feel a part of yourself is missing, and the brain's reward and connection system is still highly active - if you don't really end the relationship, there may be a period of time, she said: "it's the reward system that gives us an invasive idea - it can't get this person out of our brain - and the connection system allows us to We think this person is actually part of us. " Paying too much attention to them, she says, feels like a part of yourself is gone, and when you completely end the relationship, that feeling gradually disappears (and eventually leaves you). If it doesn't go away, maybe it's time to see a therapist who can help you find some clarity and closure. What do you think of Marjan ˊ apostolovic / iStock / gettyimages Are you not finished with your past relationship? What is the best way to get rid of your ex boyfriend? Have you ever tried to get back together with your ex boyfriend? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!

Credit: vadimguzhva / iStock / gettyimages